ugly

I am tired of being ugly .

No matter how much effort I put in
people still think that I am ugly and they still treat me like a duff .

I know I cant control what others think about me .

But I am just very very tired being treated as a duff ,
people only treated m nicely when thy need my help or favor
and most of the time treating me as a duff ,
wanting to get to know my friends through me
and after they get to know my friends
they would stop caring about me .

This is literally my life right now
Its painful and ,its sad
am not just those kind of girl that dont give a damn fuck about being duff and stuff .
I care and I cry .
I never told a single person about this ,this is the very first time I am telling this to my internet family thank you without you guys I wouldn't know how to survive .

No matter how much money I spend on skincare products and clothes ,
people are still gonna think that I am ugly and disrespect me ,
nobody really care about my feeling at all ,
saying all this might make me seem much like an attention seeker ,
I would say I am just speaking facts out loud.

I am just tired ,exhausted and I don't know what else to say ,
part of me wanted the world to leave me alone ,
and part of me want someone to just tell me I am not ugly too ,
waking up every day is just so painful ,
sometimes I don't even remember how to breathe ,
I don't remember when was the last time I really smile ,
My smile is fake like my world is .



-jolynn-