Why her ? is it my mistakes or hers ? for us to be in the same place.Intended to type all my issues with her here BUT NO .It should be private ,i DON'T want to cause any more issues .
There is so so much going on this past few weeks which i contempt that it is too much for me to bear .To balance with my school work and personal life.ALL THIS STRESS had drag me down .i mean i could concentrate in my study all those problem are replaying in my brain .I NEED TO TELL IT OUT ,sorry for telling it here :/ love u guys so much but i had to .
Lets just name this person as N . why can n just sucks away my happiness and things that i deserve ? I don't understand what have i done wrong but its just that i felt that n took some of the stuff that belong to me .
"someone said that n is pretty and classy and thinks that a lot of guys like her ."
This was how everything started again .I know this should not be happening but then the feeling of me being dump because "i wasn't pretty enough" for my ex suddenly took over me again.The feeling of not being good enough in everything .Being depress like a gold fish in a small bowl so small that i can barely move and breath ,the feeling of being lifeless ,breathless,tired , worried ,depress ,stress out and loss took over me ,i was out of control again ,this hasn't happen to me since semester one till now that i taught it wasn't ever coming back ,i taught it would be gone forever .Maybe she was just joking or maybe its real but the feeling just came back ,i don't know how to keep it back ,i don't know how long will it take this time, i almost break down drg lecture on the same day ,i don't know how to face this world again .
That feeling of being dump,took me over after that sentence of n being pretty and me sounding like a loser (even if it was just a joke or a sarcasm towards her )maybe because of all those stress in my studies and stuff, that feeling just took me over and its still me now and i don't know how to get over it now and don't know how long i must take to heal again.
I guess now i am afraid again as the feeling come in a package .I cant feel myself again .Ever since someone said that i was slutty .What had i done wrong ?just trying to be friendly and nice is slutty ?wth man .Even though i know this is not the fact but then now when is see any guys that i know ,i got paralyze ,its like i cant smile like i used to ,i am afraid that i would be name as a slut again
This was how everything started again .I know this should not be happening but then the feeling of me being dump because "i wasn't pretty enough" for my ex suddenly took over me again.The feeling of not being good enough in everything .Being depress like a gold fish in a small bowl so small that i can barely move and breath ,the feeling of being lifeless ,breathless,tired , worried ,depress ,stress out and loss took over me ,i was out of control again ,this hasn't happen to me since semester one till now that i taught it wasn't ever coming back ,i taught it would be gone forever .Maybe she was just joking or maybe its real but the feeling just came back ,i don't know how to keep it back ,i don't know how long will it take this time, i almost break down drg lecture on the same day ,i don't know how to face this world again .
That feeling of being dump,took me over after that sentence of n being pretty and me sounding like a loser (even if it was just a joke or a sarcasm towards her )maybe because of all those stress in my studies and stuff, that feeling just took me over and its still me now and i don't know how to get over it now and don't know how long i must take to heal again.
I guess now i am afraid again as the feeling come in a package .I cant feel myself again .Ever since someone said that i was slutty .What had i done wrong ?just trying to be friendly and nice is slutty ?wth man .Even though i know this is not the fact but then now when is see any guys that i know ,i got paralyze ,its like i cant smile like i used to ,i am afraid that i would be name as a slut again
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